Sunday, July 26, 2009
We had class contact time on monday. Somehow my group always gets picked for roleplay -.- anyway this time we were supposed to do a bad interview. *evil grin* They wanted me to do the random pai kia thing again like last roleplay but my hair not long enough =( so meizhen did the pai kia instead haha. I wanted to be a flower vase but they said that was irrelevant so i cannot be flower vase =( they wanted me to be an interviewee. So i decided to be a flirt *evil grin* anyway won't go into details. What happened was that Amanda got totally freaked out (she and Joy were interviewers and Joy requesed beforehand that i flirt with amanda not her). and the class laughed. and everybody thought i was a pervert/flirt after that. and julie asked me with all manner of seriousness whether i was a prostitute =.= Life without some perverseness is not life at all. Especially in Nanyang. You need some humour or perverseness or something related to get you through. Sigh.
I feel a little sad. Why has Li Yundi fallen so far? If what my piano teacher said was true (and I doubt he'd lie about things like this). It sounds like he's just using piano/music as a tool to get fame. People like that are utterly disgusting. (sounds wrong dang! i dunno what word to describe. i just feel disgusted, angry and disappointed with people like that). I don't know. I really don't know. I don't know if he loves music like i thought he did or he's just fooled the entire world (except my piano teacher, who would probably protest at the thought of people thinking he believed it too -.-) Although my piano teacher is supposedly realistic (as Peiwei says), i think he's a bit immature somehow. I don't know why. Haha! Deviation! (Just A Minute BBC) Okay back on track. Liyundi... sigh i dont know larh. I never hated anyone before, but this is the closest i will ever get to hating someone i guess. Haha i know i can't even compare to him (maddening isn't it?), and i shouldnt be saying all this, but really. i don't want to change my mind about him. like michael jackson i suppose hahaha!
I was going home from piano today and i passed by an old lady selling tissue paper. I was feeling particularly good (because i was listening to some music and the sky was blue and i was wearing something a little different haha), so i decided to buy some tissue paper from her. She was selling six packs at a time.
Me: 多少?
Old lady: 六包一两块而以！ 你要买吗？
Me: (confused. Take out earphones.?: 对不起多少?
Old lady: 六包一两块而以！ 你要买吗？
Me: [still confused.(one or two dollars?)] oh okay. [take out two dollar note because lazy to take out one dollar]
Old lady: 谢谢！小姐你很漂亮！
Me: 不会啦! *laugh* (hand her the money)
Old lady: 你工作了吗？
...
Well. Then i became more depressed. She thought she was complimenting me, but her saying that i was pretty only served to remind me that i could never be pretty. Haha. I almost cried there and then. How stupid. I don't know anything anymore. I know being ugly helps to bring us closer to God, but I really -!!! I don't have anything at all! People all around me are either pretty, intelligent or good in music or everything! i know this is just materialistic and superficial, but that's what people care about. I really don't want to become that kind of person who has nothing but 'inner beauty'. and i don't even have inner beauty. Best. i think i'll just become a surgeon next time. No need for looks, no need to have good character or anything. Just need to be clever... ARGH! Then surgeon also cannot! Aiya heck! Yeah i find that as i grow older i become more air-headed and childish. Never mind. I was still rather sad/angry that the people were walking by without looking at the old lady at all. I really am. Those people definitely have more than $8 in their pockets and they still couldn't find the heart to just spare $2 to make someone's day, to make someone smile, to make someone feel that she wasn't all alone in the world, to help water the flower of someone's hopes! (okay doesn't sound logical) It's just $2 seriously! And the old lady was so nice as to decide to give me the six packs of tissue which were still in the wrapping so that it would be easier for me to carry. It seems almost like I was the first person in the day to buy tissue from her. Unless it was. There were so many people there. What, was the old lady invisible? She didn't reflect light into their eyes so they couldn't see her or something? It's just two dollars, just two hundred cents. Or even maybe just $1. It was outside bukit batok mrt station so the place was crowded like an ant's colony. Never mind. Someone else must have bought some tissue from her earlier as well. Haha i'm acting like i'm the only one who would have bought tissue from her. Never mind. And I have $6 to last me the rest of this month. Out of $100 at the beginning of this month. OMG! Where did all my money go?! *frown* Class treasury, guzheng treasury, guzheng syf photos... Oh and dinner with peiwei when we went for a concert after last last piano lesson. Sigh. I don't want to grow old (especially if I was alone). Haha. I feel rather jealous of Peiwei occasionally. She has it all. Friends, looks, grades, 口才, suitors (haha), character etc etc. Well they say opposites attract. So i suppose peiwei is like yang and i'm like yin? and yang makes yin look darker while yin makes yang look brighter. Twisted. But she is still my best friend :) even though i'm not hers. Wa siao if my guzheng junior or someone comes across this blog then i will die a horrible death. Argh.
