Sunday, May 25, 2008
We got back our result book today. And I am like damn disappointed in myself cuz I got like so many below averages. My mother went to see Hu Laoshi about my chinese grades. According to her, Hu Laoshi kept stressing for her to tell me that she could see my effort. That's when I really got quite ... I don't know. Just yesterday the english tuition teacher was telling me "However I will have to name Claire as one of the better speakers because of her effort". Then last year the dance teacher gave me an A solely for my effort. What is the use for effort if there are like no results except compassion marks? Effort does not prove our talent or anything. It's just some random thing. But now that I look back, so what? There are so many people suffering out there now that I must be quite stupid and petty to be talking about my grades and "effort". In Ethiopia people are probably dying every second or minute. In Sichuan or China there are many people mourning, as well as many people fighting desperately for their lives and others' lives. In Myanmar the people are hurting too. Plus there was a tornado in America and 14 people were killed. How many millions are part of this horrible pain right now? Many children are probably crying themselves to sleep right now. Actually I thought of going for a missionary to either Myanmar or China, but it's just too late... People have been training since last year. All I can do now is pray for the people who are so willing to risk their lives to save others, as well as the victims themselves. And donate, of course.
Yes, and now down to my lame and small life. I just truly realised that on Wednesday, I TOUCHED A WILD BIRD!! Yeah! A wild bird? YES! Erm well I believe it was a baby one. It was , I think, a sparrow. Anyway it was just sitting in between the holes of the wire-mesh fence and I could not resist the temptation to stroke it. It was so cute, but I think I just ruined its life. I just recalled - mother cats recognize their babies by smell, so if humans touch the kitten, the mother will shun the kitten due to the smell... I shall give excuses like "I don't think the mother is still looking after it - it was all alone and it was quite big already." but I think it is just me trying to excuse my horrible mistakes... Conclusion: I must never touch any wild babies again.
Argh this post is so me-centred. Yes Project De-Selfishfy is currently underway! I am trying to make myself less self-centred haha. Even Miss Lim stated that the argumentative essay was too me-centred. Argh this is a total flop. Even this little paragraph is talking about me.
To Myanmar, China and America: God will make a better day for everybody... someday...
